Whatever happened to the Whitakers?… Chapter 4
Some of you may be wondering what has become of the Whitaker’s since the last epistle  –  other’s may think : Haven’t they gone already? Well no. We’re still here. Though it looks like we’ve been robbed. All our outside stuff, of which there was a mighty pile, has gone! Every spare brick, log, tile and plant pot…
Mr. M thought we’d coughed up enough on the inside removals (1,500) so he booked a van for a week to do the outside. In my naivity I thought: Ooh, a few pots and tools…..
That wont take long. Wrong. Very,very wrong. 
No.1 – I’m married to a yorkshireman. If it has any use at all, it’s coming with us.
No. 2 – No A-m I’m not leaving that telegraph pole… that could build a bridge! (Or become a weapon of mass distruction if I drop it on his head).
No.3 - 3 lawn mowers. One working. 2 for parts
No.4 – 5 shears. No, we are not setting up a sheep station. OBVIOUSLY they were used by our 5 gardeners. Obviously.
No.5 – 10 tonnes of rocks. I’m guessing. They filled the Luton truck I was driving. At 28 miles per hour. Some look like they came from Hadrian’s wall. (Well, you might want a rockery, Says Mr.M…….. My reply isn’t polite. And wellies are NOT a great protection against a dropped rock. My smallest toe is now the size of a large tomato. And just as red) 
When we pushed and pulled several broken down shelving units from our sheds, on to the van, into the new shed at the new domicile – Our helpful friend Mr.D said:
Is this for the scrap heap? He wasn’t joking. Mr. M, non-plussed replied: They’re going into the NEW shed. And they did. And he filled them. Just as before. With pots of nails and assorted tools, 5 shears, 3 mowers and odds and sods of paint. He was delighted. I was cream crackered. AND glad we survived the 9 trips, me driving a van that felt like a bus with a brake stick so far down that every time I pulled it up or pushed it down it was like doing pelvic floor exercises. I kid you not. Get a van. A big one. It’s cheaper than the gym. 
From day one – 82 potted plants, some of which were trees (literally), it has been an ordeal I don’t plan to repeat. When we first got married we moved in with a Ford Anglia and moved out with a Ford Anglia plus small trailler. So in 40 years of marriage we have accumulated enough STUFF to furnish 6 new homes and enough outside stuff to build a temple at least ,with 3 bridges! Why do we do it? I ask myself. Mr.M says : You never know when y ou might need that boulder or switch or nail or rock…. 
Back in the days when we built scenery for the stage shows, it was excusable. But now….? 
I think, somehow, that knowing us, we will be creating allsorts in our new home. I’ll let you know when to come visit our Hadrian’s wall-cum-bridge-cum-shed-thing.
Meanwhile – keep safe all. 
The Whitaker’s